I don’t get it. Please God, it’s too much. it’s too much..

I have learned that my grandfather’s cancer has returned. It not only is in his lung, but has spread to other parts of his body, and I know he doesn’t have long to live any more. You know the entire situation between us, but I pray that you allow me to be forgiving of him so that I may be able to deal with this entire situation better. Lord, I am so confused and lost about it all, and I just need you to be with me. Guide me. Help me. Give me the comfort I need. Please Lord, I just need your help with this one. Please.

I love you. I know I will overcome this pain and hurt. God give me peace in this time of need God. I have faith in you and I trust you God. You have not left me yet God. Thank you for loving me when I couldn’t love myself. Thank you God. God help me. I am crying out to you and I know you can hear me, please help me. I love you God. Please God. Please

I’ve been lacking faith and trust.

I need to put my trust and faith wholly in God. Please pray for me, so God can guide me and give me the strength. I’m fasting, so i can be able to give up and overcome some struggles and addictions in my life. But I’ve been hit with the flu lately, and haven’t got any better. Please pray for me.

I don’t know if you’re really there. I don’t know if you care about me. I feel as though you really don’t care about me. I understand that you have a lot to deal with, seeing as how messed up the world is, but I’m lost. Completely. I’m doing things I promised myself I never would to deal with my mental disorders. I’m barely making it. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve been begging for signs, I’ve even sobbed and cried for you, but you haven’t answered. Please God, just something. Please.

I need you more than ever, I know that this break up is going to be the hardest of all because I loved like never before..PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE !! guard my heart, I need you now more than ever.

How great you are Lord, a thousand times I’ve failed and yet you are still here for me… and you still love me anyway..

I’m going to trust you with my love story,  I know I will meet my Prince Charming eventually. :’(

In Jesus name,

Amen.

I’m scared. I always freak out about my health. I’ve been feeling really weird the past couple of months. Muscle spasms, zoning out, sleepiness…I did the stupid thing and looked it up on the internet and the main thing that comes up is MS…My heart dropped and now I’m terrified. I’m going to the doctor next week. I know I ask for a lot of stupid things. Meaningless things. But of all things, I just ask for a healthy life and piece of mind. Please God, let me be healthy. 

Amen 

 I haven’t been using this prayer thing in so long that I thought I could just pray to you in private. It turns out I would want other people to know how I’m going through. I’m going to announce to the fellow Christian brothers and sisters that I have been contemplating about running away from home. I’ve planned it for 10 years and I’m still thinking of it. Year after year, I find that no one really loves me and this year, loving someone is painful. It’s excruciating. I just want to be loved instead of being the only person that puts so much hope into it. My faith has been strained because I put so much faith into you to heal my relationship and it’s hurting still.

Amen.

I am at my wits end today. Everything is making me feel defeated and unworthy of living. Lord, please help me make it through the night, and help me to feel you. I haven’t felt you in my life for a while, and I need you tonight. I don’t know what else to do Lord, I just want to give up so badly. Help me know there are better days ahead, please Lord? Amen.

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Hi. Um, we haven’t talked in a while. I guess I should say thanks for everything. It’s been nice. Um, I don’t know what to say honestly. I would ask for you to take away the anorexia and depression and binge disorder but I can’t. I’m not ready to give those up yet. I hold them so close. They’re my life now. I still love you, I really do, and I know it’s wrong to put those above you, it’s just that i’m not ready for change. I can’t do it. I’m a failure. I’m sorry for being such a waste of life. I know you had better plans and i’m sorry for ruining them. Any way, thank you so much for Jalen. He is such a blessing, one I don’t deserve. I probably shouldn’t ask for anything, but do you think one day me and him could meet? I would love that so much. Ugh. Ok. That’s all I really have to say. Um, I love you and have a good night. 

Love, 

Alyssia